Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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