Please, let me fuck your mom
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I supernannyed him into submission
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
