Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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