No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
