apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
