Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
