dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
