i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
