the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
The Olympian is in my bed
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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