I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
