I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
