just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
