rhymes with "ouble enetration"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
