under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
