my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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