Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
