he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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