saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
