it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
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I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
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