I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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