a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
