just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
