Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
