my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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