Have you finally orgasmed yet?
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Randomize
