he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
All the doctor said was why
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
