Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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