We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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