i just sent this text using only my big toe
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
