His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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