you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
