The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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