the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
