I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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