oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
