On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
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Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
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On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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