ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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