You made me cry and you don't even care
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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