my sisters under your porch take her home
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
