talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
