listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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