also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
