i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
