I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
