i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
