Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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