i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
