i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
