you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
