Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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