So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
