I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
