Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize