So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
