If i come over, it means nothing
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
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