i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
