everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
